Why is It So Easy to Piss My Wife Off
- #1
Load 'em up boys! Nothing like sharing wits and wisdom with those around you.
A while back we were at a craft show together. My wife saw a sign that read, "Laundry $.10 a load".
So I handed her a dollar and asked her if there wasn't someplace she needed to be.
When we were dating she asked me if I date multiple girls at the same time. I told her no. The relief on her face was perfect, so I finished my response with, "I can barely handle one woman's BS, why would I want to deal with that multiple times during the day!" ??
- #2
"EFF U B|tch" That works EVERY time!
Soulezoo
Hide Sommelier and Connoisseur of fine spirits
- #3
My ex wife is small chested. She came out of the bathroom one time cupping her small breasts and looked at me and asked "what do you think about me getting a boob job? I want big boobs"
I went and grabbed a roll of toilet paper and handed it to her and said "here, rub this between your tits.... it worked for your ass!"
I slept on the couch for awhile
- #6
"Stop being such a cunt!"
- #8
Luckily my wife has a really great sense of humor. She's half Thai, so I get to use all of the asian jokes on her too. On another note, why does the spell check on this site prompt me that the word asian is spelled wrong?
- #12
I bought a new _ (gun, scope, fishing rod, etc)...
- #13
Cunt or bastard.
Oh no I'd never call her anything. She hates those two words and threatens to wash my mouth with soap, whenever I see or hear Hillary.
Aries256
Meta (make everything Trump again)
- #14
Why do you need a apple watch?! There's a perfectly good clock on the stove.
- #15
My wife has a tendency to backseat drive.........on any number of subjects. I've tried numerous different things to get her to stop, to no avail.
Now, when she's trying to tell me how to do something, I just say "Don't worry, I've done this before". I particularly enjoy doing it in front of her friends. If she's gonna pull that crap in public, she's gonna get sandpapered in public. It does shut her right up. Every. Last. Time. 
- #17
Well.
I like to have a good time and joke around. I never say anything mean or attack a serious issue.
I did call my ex wife crazy once. Because she is and was extra crazy. And that made her crazier.
Never met a woman who seemed so cool and once reality happened she was a distant, cold hearted, evil, cheating whore.
Veer_G
Beware of the Dildópony!
- #20
"They're taking up a collection on The Hide so that we can buy this humorless old prick a new truss and a sense of humor. Can I chip in 50 cents?"
- #23
You haven't met my wife!
- #25
It's flagging it because Asian should always be capitalized as it is derived from the name of a continent. Same with European American, African American, Asian cuisine, etc.
Now you know... and knowing is half the battle
Well, for God's sake don't tell her it should be capitalized!
bmash
Sergeant of the Hide
- #30
I have an awesome female German shorthair that I affectionately Call "girl dog". If I say that to my wife in a joking manner she loses it!??
- #31
Whenever she lies or exaggerates I say "you lie Barack Obama"
- #32
There is never a way to tell, she wakes up in a different world everyday.
Aries256
Meta (make everything Trump again)
- #33
Oh will you shut the fuck up and take a midol already.
(kind of like watching a diesel go into runaway after blurting that out)
- #39
There was this one woman I once knew.
She told me one day that she was pissed off at me over something I did in a dream of hers and that's why she was being mean to me all day.
You simply can't win sometimes HA!
- #42
"You're being overly emotional and dramatic." .. and then the fight was on
When she's mad at me but won't say it:
Me: you mad at me?
Her: shrugs or says no - clearly she is
Me: oh thank god. I thought you were actually mad at me but glad we're past that. Phew. (Said with complete sarcasm or actual sincerity depending on the reaction I'm looking for)
Her: explodes the way only a Latina type can
She's always trying to get me to eat vegan organic free ranging GMO free shit. Me: that's cute, but nah. 
- #43
Mine hates when I refer to her and her friends as "broads". Yeah, very archaic I know, but it has grown on me.
I'm surprised your mom gets angry at you...
- #44
Your boobs are hanging out again (point at waistline)
Soulezoo
Hide Sommelier and Connoisseur of fine spirits
- #45
Pics or it is a lie. Asking for a friend.
- #47
"Dinner isn't going to jump into that pot by itself."
It's always said in jest. I try to help when I can.....but if course I can't do anything right.
- #48
Well, there was this time that I was at my ex-wife's husbands house.
Cuck had to keep kissing her and eye fucking me, letting me know he got the prize.
So after about the third time I say, you know as many loads as I blew in Lynns mouth, even I quit kissing her, let alone using some tounge.
He went crazy, I pissed my pants on that one.
Haven't talked since that- 2007
- #49
I'm not ready to die yet
Source: https://www.snipershide.com/shooting/threads/funny-things-you-say-that-pisses-off-your-wife-go.6989707/
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